There was quite a buzz going around about ABC’s new drama “A Million Little Things” so I decided to watch it Wednesday night. It was being applauded for raising the issue of suicide to the surface; however, in my opinion, much like “13 Reasons Why” it was dramatized for television and fell short of educating the audience on the reality of suicide.
The main character dies by suicide within the first ten minutes and the rest of the episode finds his friends and family asking “why would he do this? he had everything.” That comment- “he had everything” makes me think of some of the public response’s in the aftermath of the June suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade. Depression doesn’t discriminate; a person can have fame, money, career, etc. and be depressed. Based solely upon the previews of the season, it seems like this show will have the characters “looking” for some reason that caused Jon to die by suicide which again shifts the focus to “solving a mystery” rather than elevating the severity of depression.
One of the most unhelpful aspects of the show is that the character, Jon, who died by suicide has this phrase “everything happens for a reason.” This phrase is repeated throughout the first episode. How many of you in response to a traumatic event (death, cancer diagnosis, divorce) had the phrase “everything happens for a reason” said to you? How did that you make you feel? To tie back to a previous post about empathy vs. sympathy, rarely can words help someone feel better. It’s a connection and acknowledging their pain that can help them feel better. If someone has lost a loved one, instead of saying “the sun comes out tomorrow” or “everything happens for a reason,” a better, empathetic response is “I don’t even know what to say right now but I’m here if you need to talk.”
The first episode also shows once again the shame and stigma associated with depression and suicide in the character of Rome, whom the audience sees stuffing pills in his mouth right as he gets a call about Jon’s death. As the episode goes on, Rome opens up about his suicide attempt and yet what I saw in him was shame and this idea that there’s something “wrong” with him. Instead of having Hollywood dramatize suicide in shows like this or “13 Reasons Why” let’s educate ourselves and our teens on mental health.
Did you know that suicide is the second leading cause of death for teens and young adults ages 15-24? It’s second behind car accidents. This summer, New York state became the first state to require mental health education in all of its health curricula. You can read more about that here: https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/02/health/mental-health-schools-bn/index.html You’ll also see from the article that Virginia has mandated mental health be addressed in two grades- 9th and 10th. Introducing mental health education allows children and teens to understand that having depression or anxiety doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with you. It also allows adolescents the opportunity to learn about warning signs and to recognize when a peer might be struggling and how to get help.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK