teen therapy

What does a healthy relationship look like?

Our teens learn about relationships from what they see around them which includes adults in their lives as well as through the media. Too often, movies and shows portray love in a way that is unhealthy. So what does a healthy relationship look like? To answer that question, I’ve turned to one of my favorite resources, One Love Foundation. Here are their 10 signs of a healthy relationship:

-Comfortable pace

-Trust

-Honesty

-Independence

-Respect

-Equality

-Compassion

-Taking Responsibility

-Loyalty

-Communication

For more information, check out the great resources listed on their website here: https://www.joinonelove.org/signs-healthy-relationship/

What we can learn from Children's Books

Some of you may not know this but I’m self-publishing my first children’s book this spring which celebrates different types of families. The world of children’s book authors, illustrators, and readers is a special one and I spent most of January checking out some great books. Below are some of my favorite children’s books that have special messages for all of us.

Moon by Alison Oliver- Moon is the story of a young girl who forgets what it’s like to be wild and free. She has a strict schedule of school, homework, music lessons, and tutoring. Her schedule resembles many students I work with. In this beautifully illustrated book, Moon meets Wolf who shows her how to be playful and spontaneous. This story reminds us all the simple pleasure of play and the amazing sense of freedom that can come from being present in the moment.

The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson- There are many reasons to feel different. This book reminds us that it’s hard to take that first (often vulnerable) step to let others get to know us.

The Remember Balloons by Jessie Oliveros- It can be hard for children to understand what happens to family members and other loved ones who are affected by dementia. This book helps to explain what happens to memories by using balloons as a metaphor.

Isle of You by David LaRochelle- Adults, teens, and children can all relate to needing a place that helps take your mind off of school, work, and other worries. This book combines creativity and guided imagery to take you to a special place when you are feeling sad, mad, or worried.

Red: A Crayon’s Story by Michael Hall- This book celebrates being true to yourself despite what others may think or say.

Support your local independent bookstore by checking out these great reads!

Helping Adolescents Find Balance

I think back to the days in which I grew up- days where homework only took an hour or two, social time consisted of riding bikes down the street or hanging out in someone's backyard, and stress seemed like a word that only applied to grown-ups. Sure I remember the feelings of worry and unease in high school before taking the SAT and how anxious I felt awaiting college acceptance letters but as I reflect on my experience I can only pinpoint a few times when I felt truly stressed.

I contrast that feeling with students today. The feelings of anxiety and stress start in elementary school and sometimes by the time high school arrives these feelings are crippling. My work on helping adolescents find balance centers around mindfulness practices. When students or adults are in their thoughts and their heads are spinning, they are disconnected from their bodies. Mindfulness allows students to come out of their heads and feel what's going on in their bodies at the moment. 

Listening to music, journaling, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery are all tools that can help adolescents become mindful of how their thoughts affect their bodies. Start out small with 5 minutes a day devoted to drawing, listening to a meditation, journaling, etc. and then slowly increase until 30 minutes before bedtime you're engaging in a mindfulness practice. Not sure where to start? That's where I can help!

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter. If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things, that is the best season of your life." ~ Wu Men

Written by Kathleen Goodman

Written by Kathleen Goodman